BISHIE WARS 2007
by Farawen
Summary: see your favorite anime bishonen duke it out in an all out brawl! its going to be a slammin, jammin, mydeathwillbemorebeautifulthanyours extravaganza! vote for your favorite bishies...plus orochimaru . and see who comes out on top!
1. Introduction!

Bishie Wars round 1

_jumps on top of table with microphone_

_HELLO! Welcome to the first annual BISHIEWARS!! I am your host for the contest, Leia. NOW LET'S GET IT ON!! We'll be more popular than craft corner death match!_

_Our contestants:_

_Uchiha Itachi_

_Dark Mousy_

_Uchiha Sasuke_

_Hyuuga Neji_

_Edward Elric (MSA: BOOOOOOO!)_

_Roy Mustang (rangers: BOOOOO!)_

_Shin-chan! (nana)_

_Honjo Ren_

_Kakashi_

_Kiba_

_Hiwatari_

_Daisuke_

_Krad_

_Yagami Light_

_Kyon_

_Orochimaru_

_wait wha?! OROCHIMARU?! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE_

_**Orochimaru: well I read the requirements sheet at sign up while I was stalking…I mean…recruiting Sasuke, and I am tall, thin, wear jewelry and have long hair…doesn't that make me a bishonen??**_

_Eww, nobody says bishonen anymore…Plus you're pale, and despite the fact your earrings are cute, you're a pedophile and just plain creepy. _

_**So is Hiwatari!**_

Hiwatari: HEY! AT LEAST I ACTUALLY HAVE FANGIRLS!

**Krad: and me…I am your biggest fan, Master Satoshi**

Hiwatari: O.o…

_Okay… moving on_

_**Can I PLEEEAAAASE fight? I want the uchiha….**_

_um, the battles are randomized..._

_**TOO BAD!**_

_Okay, as long as you don't go off in to one of your "I'm gonna take over Sasuke" rants, you can compete…_

_**YAY!**_

_Now that's um…should I say "settled?" because I'm border-line disturbed… anyhoo. Place your bets now for the winning bishie! Leave a review for who you would like to see win, because votes are important for who stays and who goes home!!_

_PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!_


	2. First battle!

_First battle! Let's see who the first bishies to rip out each other's –sigh__– __perfect hair will be._

_-__spins 2 wheels with the contestant's names on them-_

_WHEEL OF BISHONENNESS SPIN SPIN SPIN! TELL US THE BISHIES THAT JUST MIGHT WIN!_

_and our first pair…_

_-wheel stops-_

_Yagami Light vs. Kyon!_

_contestants, shake each others perfect hands!_

_-contestants shake hands, while glaring at each other-_

_ready? BEGIN BATTLE_

**Light: you seriously think you can win?**

Kyon: not really…but Haruhi is making me do this for the SOS brigade so…bring it on, I guess.

**-pulls out notebook and pen- lets see…your name was Kyon?**

_PENALTY! No pens, markers, sharpies, crayola crayons, chalk or even white out allowed in the arena for risk of a fanfiction rewrite!_

**What??**

_You heard me, pretty boy. Light is disqualified for not looking over the contract properly. KYON IS OUR WINNER!_

**But there wasn't anything in the contract about that!**

_Did you read the fine print?_

**What fine print?!**

_The fine print that surrounds the BishieWars logo, get a telescope you dork!_

**Leia, you're the next to die by the Death Note….**

_Teeheehee, "Leia" is my fanfiction name, derived from my first fic entitled Fullmetal Flight (dun read it, its not very good.) You don't know who I really am, so good luck killing me!_

**Grrrrr……**

Haruhi: YAY! you go Kyon!

Kyon: ugh, I just want to get out of here! Haruhi, why am I doing this again?

Haruhi: in case any of these hot guys are time travelers, espers or aliens! For the SOS brigade!!

Kyon: rolls eyes

**Light: I can't believe I was disqualified! I'm Kira, goddammit! I SHOULD BE THE ULTIMATE BISHONEN, MUAHAHAHA!**

_**L: YOU'RE KIRA?! I KNEW IT!**_

**Light: L? Where did you come from?? Crap….got to go!**

_**L: KIRAAAAAA**_

**Misa: **_**Light-kun! I still love you!**_

_Okay…that was weird. Anydangwayz, that was our first match! So it was a little short, but I love watching Light getting his ass kicked_

Kyon: but I didn't do anything!

_Do I look like I care? Now, let us spin the wheel to see who will go head to head next time on Bishie Wars! Everyone chant with me now:_

_Wheel of bishonenness spin spin spin, tell us the bishies that just might win!_

_and the two bishies to face each other next time will be, drumroll please..._

_-drumroll-_

_Daisuke Niwa vs. Hyuuga Neji! see you then!_


	3. Neji Vs Daisuke!

_Hey everyone, welcome back to the first annual BishieWars! You may notice that I'm a little less hyper today. That is because Light keeps stalking me trying to figure out my true identity so he can kill me. (Yes, I know you're there…just get the freakin' shinigami eyes already!) -sigh- I am not amused. Maybe I shouldn't have called him a pretty-boy poser murderer during the tailgate party..._

_Anyway, back to the competition. Today's match is Daisuke Niwa vs. Hyuuga Neji! _

Risa and Riku: GO NIWA-KUN!

Naruto: Go Neji! Show 'em what Konoha's previous number 1 rookie can do!

Gai: YOU'LL NEVER WIN IF YOU DON'T USE YOUR YOUTH!!

_O.o the whole youth thing is really creepy, Gai. Contestants, enter the arena and shake hands!_

**Neji: Good luck, you'll need it**

Daisuke: So will you, I come from a long line of phantom thieves!

_Before we begin, did everyone re-read the contract? No alter-egos are allowed to come out of their tamers during the match._

I know, Dark-san will have his chance n.n

_Aww, Daisuke-kun! You're such a good sport! -huggles-_

**CAN WE JUST BATTLE ALREADY?**

_Psh fine, go ahead. BEGIN BATTLE! _

Bring it!

**BYAKUGAN!**

**Woah, who's your other half? He looks hardcore, I believe my destiny is to fight **_**him**_** rather than the likes of you…**

_No! Stick to the system!_

**sheesh…GENTLE FIST!**

_-Daisuke dodges Neji's attack. He jumps into the crowd-_

_**-Neji uses byakugan to chase after Daisuke, but the phantom thief's mad skills are too much!-**_

_-Daisuke is hidden in the crowd, disguised as Princess Peach, but trips! and his wig topples off-_

**HA! I found you!**

crap…

**GENTLE FIST!**

-deadinated-

_This game's winner is NEJI!_

**HA! IN YOUR FACE NARUTO, I CAN WIN A BATTLE!**

It was a good match, Hyuuga-san! congratulations!

_AWWW!! Since Daisuke is just being such a sweetie, he wins the good sport award!!_

Thanks, Leia-san!

Riku: NIWA-KUN!! _-pounce-_ I'M SO HAPPY!

Daisuke: Where's the other Harada-san?

Riku: She's flirting with that emo kid

_-meanwhile, on the other side of the arena-_

Risa: So, Uchiha-san was it? You remind me of Dark-san!

**Sasuke: oh crap, another fangirl! _-runs-_**

Risa: WAIT FOR MEEEE

**Neji: It was my fate to win!!**

_Ugh, you and fate. At least read tarot cards or something else hardcore! You will actually -know- what's coming instead of linking everything blindly to destiny! "Look at me, I'm Neji! I am going to eat this bowl of chili because it was my fate! The chili burned a hole through my tounge, it's fate!! Leia, you will go to prom with me, its fate!"_

**Hey, it **_**was**_** fate for us to go to prom! **

_I could've said no, but you kept insisting it was our fate! Sheesh, you kept going on and on…_

**SHUT UP!**

_NO YOU SHUT UP!_

**DO YOU WANT TO KISS ME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO KISS YOU???**

_YOU BET!!_

_**-makeoutnojutsu-**_

Sasuke: O.o

Daisuke: o.O

Gai: YOU TWO ARE SO YOUTHFUL!

Sasuke: er….I'm leaving now.

Light: (escaped from L) WHATDAFA?

_Wow that was…um, off topic. Now let us spin the wheel of bishonenness to see who will compete next time on BISHIEWARS!!_

_Wheel of Bishonenness spin spin spin! Tell us the bishies that just might win!_

_and the next two competetors are…_

_Kakashi and Roy Mustang!! See you then!_

* * *

**Hey everyone, I guess I should provide a brief explination for the prom thing. I had this dream that Neji and I went to the prom. I told my friend (diaphanous-horizons. about it and now she won't let me live it down, so of course I couldnt not bring up prom in the Neji Daisuke battle. _sigh_ Oh well, no regrets, Neji looked -fine- in that tux... and is quite the looker now that he's 16  
**

**xoxo  
Leia**


	4. Kakashi Vs Roy

_**yo everyone, leia here. Sorry its been a while since the last update, but sadly exams take precedence over hot guys. If you want to know how I've stopped myself from tearing my hair out this last week, read my Naruto fic of Romeo and Juliet.  
**_

_**exams are over, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
**_

* * *

_Hi everyone! welcome back to bishiewars 07. Today our two competetors are Roy Mustang, state alchemist and an Ishbal war hero…_

Ed: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

_Al: Nii-san, don't be mean!_

Random hoard of officials: WHY DID YOU GET PROMOTED?

_GIMME BACK MY GIRLFRIEND_!

SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT WORK?!

Riza: Good luck, sir.

**Roy: Lieutenant, couldn't you be a little more enthusiastic?**

I left my pom-poms at home, sir.

**Sheesh, at least I still have my fangirls**

Hoard of Roy fangirls: WE LOVE YOU ROY! MINISKIRTS FOREVER!

_And our second competitor is Hatake Kakashi, Jounin of the Hidden Leaf village, reader of porn, and the only bishonen here who has never revealed his face! Wait, how did you even qualify?_

Kakashi: Because I'm awesome.

Hoard of Kakashi fangirls: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Hoard of Roy Fangirls: ROY IS BETTER!**

NUH UH!

**UH-HUH!**

OH DON'T YOU _UH-HUH _OUR _NUH-UH!_

**YOU WANNA PIECE OF US?!**

BRING IT ON, BIZNITCHES

_-Jumps into the middle of the fray- Take it into the parking lot! Also, have someone videotape it._

**Both Groups: Can do! Oh havvooooccc**

Havoc: I didn't even qualify… _–reluctantly grabs video camera and follows fangirls to the parking lot-_

_Okie dokie! Let's get ready to rummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbbbllllllllllllllleeeeee_

_-Jock Jams plays in the background-_

**Roy: Bring it!**

Kakashi: lets do this!

-**Roy **snaps his fingers-

Kakashi: Katon! gokkayu no jutsu!

Sasuke: Hey, that's MY technique! Stupid sharingan! Isn't that a copyright infringement?

_Sorry Sasuke, since you guys are from the same series it doesn't apply_

-Sasuke sits in a corner and emos-

-_fire collides and makes a huge ball of fire a like woah_-

_SPECTATORS,GRAB YOUR MARSHMALLOWS!_

-spectators stick marshmallows on skewers and roast them over the fight-

Kakashi: That wasn't so hard, guess I can get back to my reading. –_pulls out make-out paradise_-

**Roy: What's that? **_**-peers over-**_

**OMG! You read make-out paradise too?!**

Of course!

**WOOT! Want to get some coffee and hit the bookstore?**

Sure! Jiraiya is signing copies at the Barnes and Noble around the corner!

**Well, what are we waiting for?**

-both walk arm-in-arm out of the stadium-

_Um, guys? Where are you going? Guys?_

**Alphonse, take my place!**

Al: Waah! I can't compete in this? Can't all of us bishonen get along?

_Well, what are we going to do now?_

**-**Havoc staggers into the arena with his shirt torn open, covered in dirt and ash, and clutching the video camera**-**

Havoc: Yo Leia, I got that video you wanted. There were some casualties, and when Ren and Shin tried to break it up, they got caught in the collision of three of Mustang's girls and a tank the Kakashi fans were driving so they're out of the contest, but I think the contracts they signed will protect-

_Havoc…_

What?

_Why didn't you tell me you had washboard abs?! And those EYES…_

Oh um… It's from military training and, er, why are you staring at me like that?

_ATTENTION SPECTATORS! SINCE WE LOST TWO OF OUR BISHONEN, JEAN HAVOC WILL BE NAMED THE WINNER AND PROCEED TO THE NEXT ROUND!_

What?!

_You heard me!_

Yeah! Now's my chance to actually score a girlfriend!

_Now, let us spin the wheel to determine our next battle! Everyone sing!_

_WHEEL OF BISHONENNESS SPIN SPIN SPIN! TELL US THE BISHIES THAT JUST MIGHT WIN!_

_And the next to competitors are..._

_Oh my gosh, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is bishiewars history! The next competitors are already bitter rivals, both gorgeous and look very similar. In fact, they're brothers! Give it up for THE UCHIHA BROTHERS!_

Sasuke: you have got to be kidding me…

**Itachi: Foolish little brother, you honestly think you're hotter than me?**

Oh that's it, you're going down!

_Okay, save it you for next time you two. Tune in for the battle of the century!_

* * *

_**plz review!!**  
_


	5. Uchihas duke it out

**characters (c) their owners, I don't own any of 'em**

* * *

Hey y'all, welcome back to Bishiewars. Leia here, with a splitting headache. Dark and Orochimaru are having a debate about guyliner, and asked what brand I use… 

Anyhoo, to recap, our remain bishies are:

Uchiha Itachi

Dark Mousy

Uchiha Sasuke

Hyuuga Neji

Edward Elric

Havoc

Kiba

Hiwatari

Krad

Kyon

Orochimaru

Today the Uchiha brothers will duke it out. Contestant's, please shake hands!

Itachi: Foolish little brother, you honestly think you can win?

Sasuke: Bring it, bitch.

Sasuke started gathering chakra in preparation for chidori. Itachi blocks and snaps his arm.

"NOO!"

_Looks like Itachi's our winner, sheesh this was a short match._

Itachi: Foolish little brother, you failed because you lack-

Sasuke: Power? Hatred?

Itachi: I was going to say guyliner, but okay.

_Itachi moves on to the next round, woop de doo…_

crowd boos

-Orochimaru enters disguised as a nurse-

Oro: Come here, Sasuke, I'll give you pow- I mean…bandages.

Sasuke: um…okay.

_Well that was a short match…See you next time on bishiewars!_

* * *

**Short, I know. **

**  
Look guys, I'm EXHAUSTED. I have so much crap to do this summer. hopefully this will hold you over until I have my spunk back.**

**don't flame, light toasting is ok though.**


	6. Chapter 6

Welcome back to BISHIEWARS! Today we'll see-

**Excuse me, are you in charge here? **

_What? Who are you? _

**Ma'am, We're with the Department for Abused and Exploited characters. I'm afraid you are in violation of 007-1C section B. **

_You've made a mistake! No bish- I mean..characters have been harmed! _

**I'm afraid you'll have to come with us. **

_NO! We have a tournament to finish! _

**You have the right to remain silent. **

_ITS NOT OVER! SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON BISHIEWARS!! _

-all bishies shrug and go to get coffee-

* * *

_**The End**_

_**(yeah, no more bishiewars.)**_


End file.
